Desert Disaster
by Kimiko Haru
Summary: The Rookie Nine were told that they were to go on vacation, along with Gai's team. But when they were finally there, Their sensei's disappear and leave them in the middle of a desert! Pissed off, They continue their travel to who knows where.
1. Vacation!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Chapter 1**

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE? I'M GOING TO SMASH HIS RIBCAGE, CASTRATE HIM, BURN THAT DARN BOOK OF HIS, CUT HIM BALD, AND TIE HIM TO A POLE TO WATCH A VIDEO CLIP OF BARNEY SINGING "I LOVE YOU!" AND IF I CAN'T, I'LL JUST GET HIM AT NIGHT!"

Sakura and Sasuke stared at Naruto, In utter shock and horror, also feeling very disturbed at his sudden decision. He had finally snapped. Kakashi, Who had heard this all, was hiding up in a tree to see what they were doing. He always hid in the trees, Just to see what his students did and how they reacted to his forever lateness. Now that Naruto had said that... He regretted to ever be late in the first place.

Sucking in his breath, He leaped down from the tree and quickly appeared on the other side of the bridge, Far away from Naruto. "Yo."

Naruto turned around, faced Kakashi who had his famous poker face on, and pointed an accusing finger at him. "YOU..! YOU!", He screamed.

"Me,"Kakashi replied, Calmly and not even showing a hint of fright. He knew that Naruto would never be able to do those horrid things but the mere thought of Naruto sneaking into his bedroom at night was creepy enough.

Sakura sweat dropped and laughed nervously. "Naruto.. I think you should calm down.. Kakashi's here now."

Sasuke crossed his arms and continued leaning on the railing of the bridge. "Baka.."

Naruto ignored Sasuke and took a deep breath, Remembering the anger management classes he took with Tsunade after too many meetings with Kakashi and the team where he was_ always _late._ In...Out...In...Out..._

Finally being able to calm down, He looked over at Kakashi, Who had pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise book and was reading it with all his attention. Veins popping, He snatched the book out of Kakashi's hands and growled,"So why are we here then?"

Kakashi looked at the book and whimpered, But then looked over at Naruto and said,"I'll tell you..If you give me my book back."

Naruto thought for a moment but finally gave up and handed the book back to Kakashi.

Kakashi smiled as his hands finally reunited with his ever so wonderful book and then said,"Okay, Well, It was decided that you guys will be going on vacation."

Sakura immediately stared at Kakashi with excitement in her eyes. "Vacation?" She squealed, Clasping her hands together as her orbs sparkled in delight. "Where are we going?"

Sasuke, On the other hand, glared at Kakashi and asked,"Why are we going on vacation? We have missions to do, This vacation will only waste our time."

Naruto didn't care though, All he needed to confirm was one, single, thing. "Is there going to be ramen?"

Kakashi thought about it for a minute and then came up with the right answers,"Yes, Vacation. It's a surprise. You are going whether you like it or not. I'm not sure if there's going to be ramen. You can only hope."

Naruto pouted and sighed. "Then I'll pack my own ramen in case!" He said happily.

Sakura rolled her eyes and wondered how on earth he could live with only eating ramen all day. "Naruto..You know that ramen is bad for you."

"Nonsense! Ramen is perfectly healthy!"

"You're going to get fat..."

"No I'm not! Look! I'm perfectly fine!" He protested, pointing to himself with his thumb. "Afterall, The only person who's _fat _is Chouji."

**Somewhere in Konoha...**

Chouji sneezed and rubbed his nose before he continued to eat his barbecue pork. Shikamaru was sitting beside him at the table while Ino and Asuma were facing across from them.

"Eh? Nani kore? Chouji, Do you have a cold?" Ino asked curiously.

"No...But for some reason...I feel the need to kill Naruto."

**Back to Naruto and Team 7...**

Naruto sneezed and wiped his nose. Was someone talking about him again? Haha! They were probably talking about how wonderful he was! How brave, strong, powerful-

"...ruto...Naruto...NARUTO!"

Snapping out of his thoughts, He looked over at Sakura who was repeatedly screaming his name.

"Nani?"

"We're about to go meet at the village gates. Let's go."

Naruto nodded and ran after Sakura,Sasuke, and Kakashi who were already far ahead of him.

**Meanwhile, with Neji,Tenten,Lee, and Gai...**

"Yosh! I have an ever delightfully youthful announcement to make!" Gai exclaimed as he placed his hands on his hips infront of his students.

Neji looked calmly at him and asked,"What is it?"

Tenten who was spinning two kunais on her fingers stopped and listened.

"Hai, Gai-sensei! Nani?" Lee also asked, eager to hear whatever his beloved sensei had to say.

"We are going on vacation!"

"...NANI!"

**And back with Ino,Shikamaru,Chouji, and Asuma...**

"... going on vacation."

"Oh my kami! Where? Is it a beautiful vacation resort! Or a tropical island? Or maybe there's a spa!"

"..How troublesome."

"Will there be food?"

**And with Hinata,Kiba,Shino and Kurenai...**

"(blah blah blah)...Vacation."

"O-oh my."

"Alright! That's awesome! Isn't it, Akamaru?"

"Arf Arf!"

"..."

**A few minutes later...**

Everyone met up at the Konoha gates.

"Eh! I thought we were the only ones going on vacation!" Naruto whined to Kakashi, pointing at the other groups of people around them. "Why do we have to go with these idiots?" Everyone glared at him, Except Hinata of course.

Not noticing the glares, Naruto continued,"Except Sakura-chan and Hinata-san."

Everyone glared harder, Pissed off that Naruto had just picked favourites.

"Ah, Yes. Anyways, You'll all be going on vacation together, whether you like it or not. Let's go," Kakashi interrupted, leading the group out of the gates.

**A few seconds later...**

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Naruto."

"Are we there yet, yet?"

"_No_, Naruto."

"How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

And this continued on...

**One second later.**

"Are we there yet?"

Sigh.

"Yes, Naruto."

"Really?"

Pause.

"No."

**Half an hour later...**

Naruto had ceased the "Are we there yet?"'s so they finally stopped to rest. Naruto was about to speak up but Neji smacked him in the head before he could say anything. Sasuke gaped, And growled before saying,"That was supposed to be my job..." Neji merely gave him a glance before turning away, not answering. Sasuke glared at him and ignored him back.

After a few minutes of resting, They finally went back to traveling.

**20 mins passed...**

"We're here!", Their sensei's exclaimed.

Everyone looked around.

"Where exactly.. is here?" Sakura asked, Gaping at the scene infront of her.

They had stopped in the middle of the desert. There was hardly anything around, A few dead cactuses surrounded the area, and no one was in sight. Not even a village.

"You...You..**BROUGHT US TO A FRIKEN DESERT**!", Ino shrieked, Turning around to face their senseis.

Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai merely gave a big smile while Gai gave a sad one to Lee. All of them turning around, they replied in unison,"Have fun!" and all disappeared in a puff of smoke. Gai had mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to his students before leaving.

The Rookie nine, including Gai's team, Gaped and stared at the spot where their sensei's had been just a few seconds ago. Desperately hoping they would appear once more and just say "TRICKED YOU!", they continued staring at the patch of sand in silence.

Finally snapping out of their daze, They looked at eachother, and then turned around to stare at the supposedly empty desert.

A tumble weed rolled by.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The fun doesn't start here. xD This is only like..An intro. You see that they're in a desert, but they're really in a part of Suna. So yeah.. You'll have to wait and see what they do next. Please review and tell me what you think or if you want me to continue! Thanks.


	2. Pure madness

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Period.**

**Chapter 2**

"What kind of vacation _is_ this...?" Ino whined, finally breaking the silence and looked around, trying to find something that would save them from this hellhole called a desert.

"I agree for once, Ino. I can't believe they ditched us like that!" Sakura said, thinking up ways to get revenge on their sensei's. _For Kakashi..I shall create a book that looks like Icha Icha Paradise.. But it really has... pictures of Naruto...IN THE NUDE! Bwahahahahhaaa! Yes...The plan's brilliant! It would surely scar him for life.. Nothing's more scary than a naked Naruto,_She thought, rubbing her hands together evilly with a weird glint in her eyes. Sasuke backed away in fear as he saw this. Sakura, rubbing her hands evilly with a weird glint in her eyes, is surely not a good sign. She soon started laughing evilly, sounding suspiciously like Orochimaru, but shut up when everyone turned to stare at her.

Shikamaru sighed and muttered something that sounded like 'How troublesome'. Chouji didn't care for he had grabbed a bag of chips out of his knapsack and was stuffing as many chips in his mouth as he could.

"What _are_ you doing?" Sasuke asked, Staring at Chouji in disgust.

"I'm getting as much fat in my system so I could live for days without eating," Chouji smartly replied, feeling quite proud of himself for figuring that out.

"He already has enough fat in his system..." Ino muttered under her breath before saying,"Ano...Chouji, Only _camels _can do that."

Chouji ignored her and continued gulping down his food. No way was he gonna let some loud, naggy girl stop him from feeling **smart **for once. Atleast Shikamaru didn't say anything.

He was too busy staring at non existant clouds to care. Leave Ino to be the smart bum this time.

Meanwhile, Neji was brushing his hair.

Yes, He was brushing his hair. With a pink brush. In the middle of the desert. How he got the hideous pink brush was out of the question.

Everyone stopped to stare at him.

"29...30...31...32..." He murmured as he continued his long even strokes.

Lee coughed.

Looking up from his hair and brush, Neji asked,"What?"

"Oh..Nothing," Lee said, As Neji cocked an eyebrow at him and then turned back to brushing.

"Now where was I...Ah, Yes, 33...34...35...Oh my...O-OH MY! NANI KORE!"

Everyone turned to look at him again. Neji bolted up, Screaming and holding his hair at the same time. It was an odd scene.

He sprinted up to Tenten who merely looked at him strangely with a questioning glance.

"YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS?" He screamed, Shoving his hair into her face.

Tenten who was about to talk, Was greeted by a fistful of hair being shoved into her mouth.

Not letting her even say a word, Neji screamed some more. "IT'S A SPLIT END! I HATE SPLIT ENDS! OH MY KAMI-SAMA! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! MY PRECIOUS! My.. BABY!"

And with that, He fell to the ground in a fetal position while sticking his thumb into his mouth.

Everyone watched him in shock, Surely this wasn't _the_ Hyuuga Neji...

Lee and Tenten merely sighed, looked at eachother, and nodded at the same time.

"He forgot to take his medication today," They said in unison, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The others continued to watch in surprise. Hinata never even knew he took medication! He probably only had told his team and some other family members. Oh, the things they could learn from this so called "vacation"...

After a while, Neji finally calmed down, Returning to his expressionless and serious self again. He acted as if nothing happened and shot a strange look at everyone for staring at him.

Shino was currently watching a bug fly around Naruto's ramen bowl. He was somewhat determined to catch it to add to his collection.

Hinata was sitting beside Naruto, watching him eat while playing with her fingers, trying to come up with something so she could get an conversation going.

As she was about to open her mouth, She stopped when Shino stood right infront of Naruto. Confused, She completely forgot what the heck she was about to say.

Shino crouched down.

As Naruto slurped up another strand of ramen, Shino slowly raised his hand.

Naruto who wasn't paying attention, didn't even notice the hand reach out slowly after the last noodle strand he was slurping.

And then, The unthinkable happened.

Shino.

Stuck.

His finger.

Into.

Naruto's.

**Mouth.**

"Ooauughh!" Naruto cried, as Shino was searching through his mouth for something, and quite calmly too, without even a hint of digust on his face. It was as if he stuck fingers into people's mouths every single day. He acted like it was an common thing to do. And it wasn't. Or we hope it wasn't...

If you listened closely enough, You could hear a little "Wheeeee!" going on in Naruto's mouth at the moment. Wait.. Shino's finger could talk? What the heck was in Naruto's mouth?

Everyone watched, completely forgetting what had just happened with Neji.

Shino finally pulled his finger out of Naruto's mouth, closed his fist, stood up to face everyone before showing what was in his hand.

"It's a bug." He said bluntly.

Everyone sweat dropped, Seeing the drool covered twitching insect in Shino's hand. So that's what made the wheeeing noise...

Finally, Kiba broke the silence.

"...That's disgusting!" He screamed, In a not so manly voice.

Everyone now turned to him.

Kiba paniced and blurted out something that sounded like,"I just had my period!" before covering his mouth and realized the horrible truth.

He was a guy. Puberty did not effect him that way.

Plan: Come up with excuse for your horribly high pitched girly voice. Failed.

Hinata looked at him with a mix of shock and disgust. Shino...

Shino said nothing.

But if he was a normal person, Which he isn't, he would be staring at him like he was some lunatic, slap him hard on the face, and sick his insects on him before telling him not to ever say that again.

Everyone else... Was twitching, while staring at his... Ahem... 'Lower area'. That was when they realized that maybe they didn't know eachother as well as they thought.

Naruto finally spoke up after wiping his tongue and mouth. "Dude...That's even more disgusting than what Shino did...I mean, you actually bleed out of that?"

Lee nodded slowly. "As youthful as it is, I have to agree."

Kiba quickly smacked Naruto on the head, shot Lee a glare and said angrily,"That was a mistake, you morons! I'm not a girl!"

Then he turned to the others. "And quit looking at me like that!" They all snapped their heads back up to look at his face instead of ... _That_. Akamaru had also been apart of "the others". Kiba felt very insulted at the moment to even have his best friend think_ those_ thoughts.

Three pairs of eyes were watching them curiously from a dead bush nearby. That was oddly in the shape of a hot dog. Why it looked like a hot dog, I don't even know. But atleast the long hot dog shaped bush covered the three well.

"Do you think we should go tell them now? It's been about...what? 20 minutes?" One voice said.

"..Nah. They can wait. Their senseis didn't tell us _when _exactly we had to meet them and besides, It's funny to see them do weird stuff. Who knew pretty white eyed freak took medication, and Bug boy enjoyed sticking his finger into things. Hm..I wonder if he sticks his finger into anything els-" Another voice replied, and you could tell he was saying something perverted just by his tone of voice.

Before he could finish, a smacking sound was heard.

"Pervert.."

"Ouch..Okay okay, I won't say that again. And dog boy finally hit puberty! HAHA!"

"..Whatever."

Their third comrade didn't reply or say anything though as they continued to stare at the group of strange nins infront of them.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Who are these mysterious three? xD You could probably guess but I ain't telling you. xP Well, Maybe you wouldn't be able to guess. But if you read my previous message, You'd know where the group are and not just a plain old desert. So that gives you a big clue. Anyways, I hope that was funny. I had a hard time figuring out what exactly to do with it. (sigh) I just wasn't hyper enough at the moment. Usually, Tons of ideas would pop into my mind. Must have more soda! Then I'd get more ideas. Yes..That'd help. Well, Thanks for the reviews and don't forget to leave new ones!


	3. Pissed off, No regrets

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Chapter 3**

Naruto paused as he thought about something.

"You know what?"

"What?" Everyone answered in unison.

"I feel pissed off at the authoress for some reason."

Everyone gave him a questioning look as he continued rambling on.

"I mean, She makes Neji have to take medications, care about his hair-"

At that moment, Neji looked down at the ground for he _did_ actually care about his hair. Alot. More than you can ever imagine. And that's saying **alot**.

Naruto continued.

"-scream at Tenten and everyone, and then fall into an fetal position. You do know that it completely scarred his reputation right?"

That was when Neji realized that Naruto _was _right.

For once.

Even though he didn't know what the heck Naruto was talking about. **What** authoress?

"You better not tell anyone about this..." Neji growled with a hidden death threat in his voice. Everyone got it and gulped before nodding their heads.

Naruto then continued on about why he was ever so pissed off at me.

"Then there's that bug that flew onto my precious ramen-"

He paused to think about his ramen.

"Which caused me to eat it and Shino had to stick his disgusting-"

Shino glared from behind his sunglasses.

"-finger into my mouth, spoiling my whole appetite. Also, She made Kiba scream in a girly voice and admit that he had his period!"

Kiba snarled at him and snapped,"I did **not** have my period! I'm a_ guy_!"

Naruto ignored him.

Sakura then spoke up. "Wait, Why do you know so much about this authoress? Who is she?"

Naruto was about to answer before he paused to think. "I...don't know?"

Everyone raised an eyebrow at him and looked around just to see if there were any hints on how the heck Naruto said all this stuff randomly.

They had decided on one thing.

If they ever met this "authoress", they would definetly kill her. She sounded like an evil being, to be able to do those things. Actually, They were just scared of my awesome powerfulness!

**Somewhere far away...**

I am in my house, Laughing evilly as I stare into my computer screen.

**Back to them...**

So forgetting about the whole situation of who the hell this authoress person was, They focus on how they are going to get out of the desert.

"I say that we-" Naruto began but Sasuke cut him off.

"No."

"Bu-"

"No."

"I was ju-"

"No."

"Why won't you-"

"No."

Finally giving up, Naruto crossed his arms infront of him and pouted. Sasuke answered his unasked question. "You're too stupid to plan anything out. Let Shikamaru think about it."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SASUKE-TEME!"

Sakura punched Naruto on the head. "Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!" She growled, even though Sasuke didn't need her help at all and couldn't care less. I really pity Sakura at the moment.

Naruto looked at her with teary eyes and whined, "But Sakura-chaaaan..."

"Don't you go 'Sakura-chaaan'ing me!"

He once again pouted before crossing his arms. Why did no one listen to him?

Shikamaru coughed into his hand and said,"So, I've decided that..."

Everyone leaned in to listen. "Yes..?"

He took a deep breath.

"...I..."

"Yeah...?"

"..have no clue whatsoever."

Everyone fell anime style, legs up in the air and twitching.

Kiba was the first to get up. "WHAT DO YOU **MEAN **YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER!" He shouted, veins popping on his forehead.

"I _mean_, I have no clue whatsoever. Do not make me repeat myself," Shikamaru said plainly.

Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "So we're stuck here?"

"Oh _why_, do the fates have to torture us so..Especially keeping me with that blonde idiot over there." Neji muttered. Ino and Naruto glared at him and shouted in unison,"HEY!"

"I mean't Naruto."

Ino was satisfied but Naruto merely got even angrier. "Oh shut up! Freaky white eyed pretty boy!"

**"What...Did you call me!"**

And this continued with a glaring match between the two.

**Meanwhile In Konoha...**

"Do you think it was a good idea to leave them there?"

Kakashi nodded, before taking a sip of his sake. "Positive."

The four sensei's were at the local bar, enjoying their time away from their pesky students.

"Ah, This sure is nice. No more "Sasuke-kun's!" or "I'm going to beat you today, Sasuke-teme!" or ... Oh wait, Sasuke's actually pretty okay," Kakashi said, thinking about his teammates who were currently ... **In the middle of the desert.**

Kurenai sighed, thinking about her own students. "My team is pretty okay so I didn't really have any worries before. But it sure is nice to just come out here, without having to deal with them. Now that I think about it.. Shino's bugs always ate out of my garden, Kiba won't stop shouting while Akamaru likes to dig around my house, and Hinata...Well, She's got no problems since she actually helps me sometimes."

Asuma let a puff of smoke out before saying,"Well, I feel the same as Kakashi. No more "Sasuke-kun is the best!" or "How troublesome." or me spending all my money on the all-you-can-eat buffets just for Chouji to eat-all-he-can and hardly save any for us at all."

Gai on the other hand... He was pretty depressed. The other three teachers had dragged him into this and now he was getting himself drunk because he missed his beloved companions.

"I miss (hic) Lee...His smiling (hic) face... And (hic) Tenten... She always (hic) was so (hic) energetic.. And (hic) Neji was so strong and was (hic) a good example of a shin(hic)obi, also a (hic) great prodigy."

Kurenai looked pitifully at Gai. "You really miss them don't you?"

Gai nodded sadly at her before hiccuping a few more times and taking another sip of his sake.

"Well, Cheer up. Atleast now you don't have Tenten yelling, Neji won't be pissing Lee off anymore, And hopefully Lee is enjoying his time there."

Gai immediately perked up, Realizing the good points to situation. "And Tenten won't accidently throw sharp pointy objects at me while I'm taking an afternoon nap, Lee won't be always copying me, Oh, I always secretly hated that but had no heart to tell him and giving him that suit was a bad idea especially when he took my original hair style! and Neji won't be around to act like the smart bum he always is! I can finally do the things I wanted to do! He won't bother me with all that fate crap! Oh hoh ho hooo..." He stood up, laughing evilly while placing his hands on his hips and sticking his nose up in the air.

The three sensei's looked at him weirdly before backing away. Gai had finally lost all his sanity...If he had any in the first place.

-o-o-o-o-o-

And that's the end of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review!


	4. The madness continues

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Chapter 4**

Three days have passed already and now they're cold, tired, hungry, and sandstorms hit them whereever they went.

"We have been...(gasp)..Traveling for...(pant)...Three days now.." Sakura managed to say, even though she was very thirsty at the moment. Their supplies were already running low and some of them have been fighting just to get food or water. So basically they were, Hungry, Thirsty, and VERY dirty.

Sasuke was trying to keep his cool but failing miserably. Atleast Ino or Sakura didn't bother him anymore for they were too focused on their own problems. Or that's what he thought. The truth was, They were purposely avoiding him. _Uchiha's must be cool..Uchiha's must be cool...**I** am cool...Uchiha Sasuke **is** cool... _Yeah, You keep thinking that Sasuke.

But in reality, He was looking like a cross between a camel, a chicken, a sweaty dog, and a cross eyed platypus.

Basically, He was slumping, his tongue was out, his hair was a mess, and he had gone cross eyed due to the heat getting to his brain. What girl would want to date him now?

"I am _really_ going to kill Gai-sensei when I get back,"Neji hissed through clenched teeth as he stared on at the empty desert. His hair was loosing it's usual perfection, his beautiful pale white face was scratched and bruised, not to mention dirty, and his hideous but beloved pink hair brush had gone missing.

"But Neji!" Lee cried, Who was currently in denial and just won't believe that his **precious **Gai-sensei would do this to them on purpose. It was probably evil Kakashi's fault.

"Don't 'but Neji' me!"

"But Ne-"

"Just shut it!"

**Meanwhile..Somewhere In Konoha...**

Gai sensei was running around in a clown suit, Jumping and waving his arms while singing, "Too sexy for my shirt" and started stripping. "OH THE FREEDOM!" He shouted, (I am not sure if he's talking about running around in his birthday suit, or the freedom of having his team away.) Scaring even more innocent citizens of the village. Babies started crying, Adults threw tomatoes at him which he gracefully dodged, Squirrels died when they set their eyes on him and Micheal Jackson stopped molesting little kids, took one look at Gai, before screaming and running away, covering his virgin (Yeah _right_.) eyes.

_Ohohohohohohooo... This was a brilliant idea!_

So much for, "Gai-sensei wouldn't do this to them on purpose".

**Back to the desert...**

The desert heat was getting to everyone's heads now. Even Hinata...

"Y-you know what...?" She began as she faced her two comrades. Everyone was walking in their own groups.

"What?" Kiba asked while Akamaru barked his own little "What?" in doggy language.

Shino just stared at her.

"I..I...I'm SICK of this all! Shino _never _says anything! He doesn't DO anything except stare at his _crappy_ bugs! KIBA WON'T **SHUT UP**. _AKAMARU _WON'T SHUT UP! Not to mention he pissed on my** _favourite _**JACKET! I SWEAR, EVEN NARUTO ISN'T AS LOUD AS YOU GUYS OR ANNOYING! YOU KNOW HOW FRIKEN PISSED OFF I AM! DAMN IT ALL!" She screamed, Catching everyone's attention.

Kiba,Akamaru and Shino gaped at her. Yes, Shino. Gaped. At. Her. He was SO surprised that his hair flew up straight into the air, and his glasses fell off. **Right off.**

Everyone else...Froze.

Since when did Hinata spaz?

And...Was that...SHINO'S GLASSES!

**Gasp.**

Everyone looked down to stare at the glasses, Even Hinata. No one had took a look at Shino yet, Who was about to pick up his glasses.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER!"

Kiba ran up to him and snatched the glasses away. Shino glared at him.

"I...I have Shino's glasses! I HAVE SHINO'S GLASSES! Bwahahahahahahahahah!AHAHAHAHAHAH(cough)AHAH(gag)AHAH!" Kiba laughed evilly as he soon started choking on air. "Ah hah...Hah..(Cough)...Hah..." And then he dropped on the ground, holding his throat, unconsciously choking himself, making it even worse. Sounds of dying cats could be heard..

Shino was about to grab his glasses again, until Ino ran up to him and snatched them away before he could.

"ALRIGHT! EVERYONE, LOOK AT HIS EYES!"

As everyone was about to see what Shino's eyes looked like, Night fell apon them and it was dark. **Very **dark. So dark, They couldn't see eachother at all.

"..."

Cricket.

Cricket.

"...So... who has a flashlight?"

Everyone felt around for their bags, grabbed them, and searched. Pulling out their flashlights, They all shone it on what they thought was Shino.

"AHA!" They shouted in unison. But what they didn't expect was...

"AGHH! IT BURRNNNSS! OH MY YOUTHFUL EYES!SHALL I EVER SEE THE JOY OF SPRING ONCE MORE?" Lee cried, covering his eyes as he was blinded by all the lights pointed at him. Closing his eyes, anime tears running down his cheeks, as he began falling to the ground (in slow mo) while his arms shot into the air, wiggling as he dropped dramatically onto the sand.

Everyone sweat dropped, looked around, and finally turned their flashlights to Shino.

...Who had put his glasses back on.

Confused, They all shone their flashlights on a dark lump on the ground. It was Ino. Knocked out cold.

**Somewhere not far away from them...**

The same group of three were crouched down, now hiding behind a pickle shaped cactus.

"...Why are we always hiding behind objects with strange shapes?"

"Don't ask me."

"..."

"You know..One time... I walked into your room...And found a mini skirt."

"Wha?"

"And it was **mini**..God, That thing was darn small. It was like it fit a doll or something."

"So that's where Kelly's skirt went..."

"Pardon?"

"Oh! Uh..Nothing!"

"Oh and another time, I was in your bathroom, And guess what?"

"What?"

"I found a tiny pink thong!"

"WHAT!"

"And boy was it tiny! It was also strangely doll sized."

"...Oh."

"So what were you doing with those things?"

"Uh...Um...My friend's cousin's baby's dog's turkey's moose's mom's dad's sister-in-law's daughter came to my house and uh...Yeah. She left them there."

Silence.

"... Oh. Haha, For a second there, I thought you were one of those perverted freaks who has over 100 barbie dolls hidden in their dressers wearing slutty outfits so you can make them masturbate and have sex or something."

Pause.

"...Um. Oh, Haha, That's..Hilarious. Yeah.. I'm not one of them. (shifty eyes)"

"... Will you two just shut up?"

"Well _sorry,_ Mr. I'm-too-quiet-for-my-own-damn-good."

"There's no point in talking to a pair of idiots."

"EXCUSE ME?"

Their third companion glared at them, Dark shapes swirling around him as his eyes lit up with an don't-you-talk-to-me-that-way-or-I-won't-hesitate-to-kill kinda look.

"... Alright alright, Sheesh."

"..." He didn't bother to reply.

**Back to the group...**

"EXCUSE ME?"

Tenten turned around, Hearing something in the distance.

"Did you guys hear something?"

"What?" "No." "My youthful ears do not recall, dear Tenten!" "How troublesome.." "N-no.." "Ramen." "Hn." "PICKLES!" "Akamaru! Stop peeing on that soft, long thing." "OH MY GOD MY HAIR!" "Arf!" "..." "Huh?"

Everyone talked at once.

"Oh well, Must have been the wind."

So everyone shrugged and continued their journey through the desert.

**Ten minutes later...**

"Hey look! Is that.. a forest?"

Shikamaru peered over at the direction Naruto was pointing at and said,"Yeah. If you could call it that."

It was indeed some type of woods. ... A dead one. Well what do you expect? A tropical rainforest?

"SHADE!"

Naruto ran for the group of dead trees, going straight forward with his arms opened wide, Tears streaked down his face, Oh how he missed the cool shadows from the tall branches, the feel of the bark against his-

He ran smack into the tree.

"Wow Naruto, I never knew you were such a tree hugger," Ino snickered behind her hand.

Dazed, Naruto half glared at her before grabbing his head and groaning.

Hinata ran up to him and asked if he was alright.

He nodded before getting up again.

"So, Let's stay here for the night. We can make a house of some sort and then see if there is anything around for us to eat," Shikamaru announced, Turning to the group.

So everyone settled down.

-o-o-o-o-o-

That's the end of this chapter. Hope you liked it. Please give me ideas on what should happen next. xD I am only making things up along the way and I can't think of anything right now. Review! Thanks.


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